Which Planet is that Again?
by Nixa Jane
Summary: Jack, Daniel, and banter. It's utterly pointless. Seriously.


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Author's Note : I wrote this one for ForCryinOutLoud awhile back, and never bothered to post before now as it is very much not my best work.

Daniel knocked on the door, but entered and plopped down in the chair against the wall before the man sitting at the desk could even look up. "You wanted to see me?"

General Jack O'Neill leaned back in his chair at the voice. "Yeah," he said. "There's a problem with some of the sign-in records. According to them, you haven't been off the base for two weeks." Jack glared across at him.

Daniel shifted in his seat. "Well, that's not true at all," he snapped. "I've been off planet twice and…"

Jack crossed his arms. "Perhaps I should have been more specific. I mean as in out of the base and ONTO EARTH."

Daniel winced. "Earth…" he said, his eyes flicking towards the door. "Which planet is that again?"

Jack placed his head in his hands. "Damn it, Daniel."

"Well I've been busy," Daniel said.

"You need to get a life!" he snapped. "Come on, Daniel. Even Carter has a life."

Daniel smiled. "Yes, I'm very happy for her. And how have you been, Jack?"

Jack pointed at him angrily. "Do not change the subject!"

Daniel bit his lip to hold back another grin. "That's what I thought. If that's all" Daniel started to get up.

"Sit!" Jack said, pointing back to the chair.

Daniel rolled his eyes and fell back into the seat.

"I'm banishing you from the base," Jack said. "Go get a life, and come back on Monday."

Daniel laughed. "Have you even checked the meeting schedule, Jack? I have three briefings tomorrow alone, I can't take time off."

"It isn't time off," Jack snapped. "It's banishment. There's a difference."

"Okay," Daniel said, drawing the word out. "I can't be banished right now. I have things to do."

"I think we'll manage without you," Jack said. "It's only three days. And you need the break."

"I don't need a break," Daniel said. "I'm fine. You, however, look a little overwrought."

"You're so pushing it," Jack said. "I can make it a week."

Daniel grinned. "Three days will be fine."

Jack's eyes narrowed instantly. "You're not going to try and talk your way out of it?"

Daniel shrugged. "Why would I? If you want to find someone to take over all my lectures, learn everything about the planets that only I have studied yet so they can then brief the SG teamsby tomorrow, mind you, as well as assign a temporary research leader to the archeological division, _and_ find a replacement for SG-1's trip through the gate on Saturday—well, who am I to complain?"

"Why do you do it?" Jack demanded. "Why do you have to make my life so hard?"

Daniel met his eyes innocently. "I could have sworn it was the other way around. I guess I should go grab my jacket and head off…maybe I'll go see a movie. Hey, maybe I'll even take a few sick days, too. You can get someone else to handle the diplomatic mission with the Nerians, right? Oh, and Nyan wanted me to help with his studies on the ruins at Makesh, the Ancients' planet SG-9 found, but I'm sure you can find someone else to do it…"

"You're making half of this up, aren't you?" Jack demanded. "We've never met anyone called the Nerians."

Daniel laughed. "You think I'm making it up? Shouldn't you know, Jack? Don't you keep track of all the off world missions? I mean, you can't possibly be General and still not read the reports…"

"Of course I read the reports!" Jack snapped. "I'm just not good with names."

"Yes, well I've heard that's common with people your age."

"Okay," Jack snapped. "That's it. You're really banished now! A week."

Daniel leaned back in his chair. "You're only making things harder on yourself."

"You came back evil, you know that?" Jack demanded. "This is what happens when you keep coming back from the dead. You get arrogant."

"Hmm, and what's your excuse, exactly?"

"Tell me, Daniel, is the word insubordination _anywhere_ in that overly large vocabulary of yours?"

"Is megalomania in yours?" Daniel asked, as he tilted his head to get a better look at one of the reports lying scattered on the desk. He picked it up curiously.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, it is. I use it often when describing you."

Daniel held up the report with a raised eyebrow. "I love the smiley faces, Jack. You realize, don't you, that you don't actually have to grade the off-world reports?"

Jack reached over and grabbed the report out of his hand. "Positive feedback provides good morale."

"You never draw any smiley faces on my reports," Daniel said.

"That's because they put me to _sleep_."

"They put you to _sleep_?" Daniel asked, imitating Jack's inflection with flawless precision.

"You heard me. I used to have to take a sleep aid, you know. But now I just keep copies of yours and Carter's reports on my nightstand."

"Isn't that against regulations?" Daniel asked cheekily. "Reports aren't supposed to be taken off base by personnel."

"I know the _regulations_, I'm the General."

"I've noticed you like pointing that out."

"Did you also happen to notice that I have banished you, and you're supposed to have left?" Jack snapped.

"Oh that. You were serious?" Daniel looked unconvinced. Distractedly, he noticed the chair he was sitting on had wheels. "This is a nice chair. Comfortable."

"Stop changing the subject," Jack demanded. "I want you to take time off."

Daniel thought about it, then shook his head. "No."

"No?"

"Banish me next week, Jack, right now, I have too much to do."

"You can't decide when you get to be _banished_," Jack told him. "Banishment doesn't work like that."

"Trust me, Jack, this is not a good time. Next week, maybe. Though, January would be better."

"January is in three months," Jack snapped incredulously.

"Yes, I know. Does that work for you?"

"No it doesn't work for me! Daniel, I hate to tell you this, but you're a work-a-holic."

Daniel gasped. "Really? Ya think?"

"It's my own fault, isn't it? I always let you have too much leeway." Jack sighed over-dramatically.

"Actually, it was more of an influence issue. You're a bad one."

"Don't blame this on me," Jack snapped. "I'm not even remotely a work-a-holic. I hate working. You know what I have in my desk? A yo-yo and a Game Boy. I admit it. What do you have in your desk? Dictionaries, reports, boring artifact upon boring artifact—you need a break."

"I wasn't talking about that particular issue," Daniel said wryly. "But since you've brought it up…Game Boy? What games do you have?"

Jack looked surprised. "You play Game Boy?"

"Sure. Teal'c lets me borrow his."

"Teal'c has a Game Boy?" Jack asked in shock.

Daniel nodded. "Are you kidding? When he first found out about it you couldn't tear him away. I thought we were going to need to have an intervention."

Jack seemed surprised. "Does Carter have one too?" 

"Sam?" Daniel shook his head. "No, Sam has a Playstation."

Jack stared at him. "Why don't I know any of this?"

Daniel shrugged. "You're always working. We usually meet every other day in Teal'c's quarters. Sam brings Chinese food, and we try to wind down."

Jack crossed his arms angrily. "And why am I never invited?"

Daniel laughed. "Jack, we ask you every time. But for someone who is a self-professed un-work-a-holic, you seem to work an awful lot."

"So you've been having fun on base?" Jack demanded.

"Sure. This base is my life. I don't need to leave to find one, so can we forget this whole banishment thing?"

"Yeah," Jack sighed. "As long as you play video games once a week. General's orders."

"Deal," Daniel said with a laugh.

"Are you meeting with them tonight?" Jack asked.

Daniel shook his head. "No, but we are tomorrow. Think you can make it?"

Jack grinned. "Yeah. I'll bring my Game Boy."

With a nod, Daniel got to his feet. And as he hovered for a moment in the doorway, he decided not to tell Jack the Nerians were real, he grinned and started down the hall—it didn't matter, anyway.

_The End. _


End file.
